How to Cut Mountains in Half

As I’ve been writing and researching for my upcoming book, “The Influence Mindset for Sales Acceleration: The 7 EQ Brain Hacks That Get People to Choose You” I came upon a fascinating academic study that can literally change how you see the world around you, and help you stand out from the crowd.

Here’s what happened.

In 2008, researchers at the University of Virginia took a group of students to a hill located nearby campus and asked a simple question: Can you describe how high you think that hill is?

What they discovered is intriguing.

When students were alone and standing by themselves, they tended to describe the hill as steep and difficult to climb. However, when students were standing with a trusted friend at their side? They described the hill as being much lower and easier to climb.

Same hill, but completely different perceptions of its height. All influenced by whether someone was standing next to them or not.

The researchers then discovered that the same phenomenon occurs when we are assessing a challenge in our lives. When we have the support of another trusted person, it decreases the perceived difficulty of whatever we are facing. Researchers found that, in these situations, challenges seem less daunting, obstacles less formidable, and opportunities more attainable.

But when we face an obstacle by ourselves with no one next to us? The world is perceived to be a much harder place.

What does this have to do with influence and success?

I think there are two key applications.

First, if you are facing something or trying to overcome an obstacle, who can you reach out to for help? That may sound simplistic, but according to the study… simply having someone you trust standing by your side will significantly reduce the perceived difficulty.

Here’s why that matters.

So many times people avoid making important changes, or put off pursuing life changing opportunities because they seem too difficult to even begin. And so people remain stuck in the rut, and never change.

By the way did you know the difference between a rut and a grave is only a few feet? (Quote attributed to Ellen Glasgow)

Embarrassingly, here’s a case in point: A few years ago my wife and I were visiting her native Denmark for Christmas and her mother gave us a beautiful painting. The only problem was, it was HUGE. How were we going to get it back to the States? I wrapped like a mummy in bubble wrap, built a custom box from scratch on their living room floor, and lugged it all the way to the airport.

Miraculously, it passed customs, and arrived safely at home without a scratch. Now for the REAL problem… how to hang it up? My wife and I could barely lift it ourselves… let alone hang it. For that, we definitely needed help. And so in the meantime we rested it on our dresser waiting for the right time to ask someone.

Do you want to guess how long it sat there? Nearly a year.

For 11 months, this gorgeous painting just sat propped against the wall on our dresser because we were too overwhelmed to do it ourselves. Eventually we had some family over and asked for help to hang the blasted thing. And guess what? 5 minutes later it was beautifully hanging on our wall.

5 minutes vs sitting there for 11 months.

What was difficult for us alone, became incredibly easier when we simply asked for help.

Which brings me to the second point. If YOU and I can feel overwhelmed looking at an obstacle, how do you think other people feel when facing theirs?

That’s why, if you want to build deeper trust, connection, and ultimately become someone people choose to work with — you have to stop thinking of yourself as someone who’s just there to do something for them.

You have to show them you’re someone who will stand with them.

Because here’s the truth: people don’t just want experts. They want allies who are helping THEM become the Hero of their own story. And being chosen often has less to do with how impressive your solution is — and more to do with how supported they feel when they’re with you.

When someone feels like you’re walking alongside them, their “hill” looks smaller. Their stress drops. Their ability to move forward increases. And when the moment of decision comes? They’re more likely to choose you — not the person with the biggest résumé, but the one who made the journey feel lighter.

So here’s my challenge to you this week:

· Don’t just offer solutions — offer sincere support and validation.

· Don’t just answer questions — ask how someone’s feeling about the road ahead.

· Don’t just be a problem solver — help them feel like they can become the Hero of their own story.

Because in a world full of people shouting “look at me,” the real influence comes from being the one who says, “I’ve got your back. You’re on the right path.”

And when people sense that?

They’ll hang their hopes — and their trust — on you. Even faster than you can hang a painting that’s been leaning against the wall for 11 months.

– Christian