Building Success

Who knew that a simple mistake (on my part) would have nearly caused our roof to collapse?

My wife and I had just bought a fixer-upper, and were trying to get some needed remodeling done before we moved in. Our ambitious and overly confident vision included removing a pesky wall so we could open up the living room a bit more. On paper it sounded simple enough, but in reality? We were completely in over our heads… and had no idea.

Our contractor said he could do it, and in efforts to keep the already ballooning construction costs down, I volunteered to get the materials from Home Depot in advance.

On demolition day, the crew ripped out the wall as the lead contractor surveyed the lumber I had bought. Amid the sound of hammers and chainsaws, he concentrated as he checked every item off his list. Everything was going great until he stopped, raised his eyebrows in alarm, and ran to tell his team to cease immediately.

It turns out I got the right lumber, but I did not get the right kind of brackets which held it all together. And since it was a load bearing wall, without the right brackets, the roof could collapse. As the crew switched gears and installed temporary support beams, the contractor and I raced to Home Depot. After we bought the RIGHT brackets, I had images of a collapsed roof racing through my mind as we headed back home. Luckily, when we arrived, everything looked normal.

With expert skill, his team installed the beams (and brackets) and voila, the living room was transformed. Our hopeful vision was beginning to take shape! As his crew cleaned up for the day, the contractor patiently explained how the brackets I FIRST bought were insufficient for the job at hand, and showed how the ones we purchased together were correct.

“I’ve done a lot of projects and can pretty much handle anything,” he said, “but without the right materials? It doesn’t matter what I know how to do. I’m stuck with what I got.” As he drove away, I realized I had learned a critical lesson.

Let’s get to how this connects to influence and success.

When you boil it down, people don’t accept or reject you. They accept or reject their perception of you. And their perceptions are made entirely of how you communicate and interact with them. In this situation, it was MY JOB to provide the materials to enable him to do his job. However, when I didn’t do MY job, he couldn’t do his. Similarly, when we want people to choose us over others, do you give them the right materials to form the BEST perception? Or are you forcing them to fill in the gaps?

I was once introduced to a friend of a friend (let’s call him Mike) who was struggling in his career search. He had solid experience in sales roles, and was applying to job after job… to no avail. However, after months of work he finally got an interview lined up with a healthcare software company and our mutual friend recommended we go to lunch to talk interview strategies.

We met up and as I suspected, his answers mirrored much of what I cover in my book as “Achievement Mindset” responses. He sufficiently proved he was smart, capable, qualified, and passionate. The only problem? He sounded the same as everyone else. His “materials” and “perceived value” collapsed compared to others, and his message got lost in the noise.

How could I help him provide better “materials” in his responses to influence reviewers to build more persuasive perceptions of him? One trick was: ask a different question. “What kind of results does this company pride themselves on delivering for their clients?” I asked.

Unsure, he asked for further clarification. I added, “Let’s pull up their client testimonials from their home page. What results do they consistently highlight from their favorite Doctors?”

After scanning his phone he said, “Here, one Doctor talks about how much time they saved with this company’s help.”

Nudging further I asked, “And what do you think that Doctor did INSTEAD…with that additional time?”

“He probably used it to help and serve more patients?”

I agreed. “So this company features solutions that save time for physicians. My question is, what gets you excited about helping Doctors save time? Do you have an experience where you or your family benefitted from a Doctor…who took a little extra time to serve you?”

“Actually, yes!” He said excitedly. And then proceeded to tell me how his wife had a difficult hospital stay for the birth of their son, and this one Doctor went above and beyond to help.

“What if,” I asked, “you reframed your purpose? Instead of presenting your qualifications (just like everyone else), what if you said you want to sell THIS software program to help Doctors avoid cumbersome paperwork, and instead help more patients? Just like this one helped you?”

He sat stunned. He had never considered that angle before, and we talked further about more strategies. Even better, I’m pleased to say that after months of effort, he finally got the job offer he had been looking for. One reason? He changed how he communicated, and thus altered the “materials” he provided for people to build their perceptions of him.

Can you see a difference between:

· “I have years of experience, and can do this job” versus…

· “Your company helps Doctors devote more time providing life-saving care for their patients, and I want to help more Doctors do that even more. And let me tell you my personal story as to why…”

Which perception are you more influenced to choose?

Same guy, same qualifications, and the same abilities… but the “materials” behind the message meant the difference between collapse… or opening the space for more opportunities.

What’s the message you send? Is it creating the perception (and results) you want? Check out The Influence Mindset if you want to upgrade the “materials” you give to Decision Makers to choose you.

At the end of the day, it all depends on how you frame (and bracket) it. Just ask Mike AND my contractor.

- Christian

CHRISTIAN HANSEN has gone behind the scenes in some of the biggest organizations in the world to find out the reasons why some people get chosen and why others don’t. As the #1 bestselling and LinkedIn Top Ten ranked author of “The Influence Mindset: The Art & Science of Getting People to Choose You” Christian helps teams and organizations who want increase their earning potential by standing out from the crowd and influencing people to choose them. With degrees from Brigham Young University and The London School of Economics, he’s helped thousands of individuals position and sell themselves. A fan of international communication, history, and choral music, he currently lives in Utah with his wife. Reach him at: TheChristianHansen.com